I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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