everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You left your phone here
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