i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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