dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm really busy with my period
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