I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
