Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize