The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
