gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
