Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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