this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
