We need to rekindle our bromance
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
