I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
