I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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