I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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