I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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