Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
