but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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