NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
