So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
