Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
