Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize