Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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