Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
