He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
