Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
