In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
