i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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