So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
