So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
