last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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