I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
