look no pants
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
