i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
