I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
