EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
