We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
