I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
