Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize