shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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