She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
