I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
