i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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