if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
