Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize