so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
