The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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