You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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