Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
