Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
