no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
