This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so let's talk penis.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
