It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
