I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
