is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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