it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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