It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
