if i died would you start the facebook group?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
