hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
