YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
