did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
