we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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