some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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