you traded sex for a burrito?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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