so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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