I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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