I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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