he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
