Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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