If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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