how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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